Not in your situation re distance from Space, but have swung from cold feet to running headlong into the purchase and back again.
If I were in your shoes, the main thing I'd be worried about is the OTA update issue. All the current bugs relate to software, and relate to relative inconveniences, nothing disabling for the fundamental functions of the car - based on the reports of other folks in this and other forums (fora?). If OTA were in place, then servicing would be fairly straightforward - you could just get the software patches OTA.
So I'd try to gain a concession of sorts from Polestar that they will pay for and cover the service to enable OTA updates when that's ready. And, for any critical updates that arise in the interim - ideally from an authorized service point closer to you.
Based on at least one report (IIRC from
@I_Kent_Spelgud ) it seems like certain Volvo dealers are already in process for being set up as Polestar Service Points, I'm sure closer to you in NC than NY. But they probably can't officially announce that. I'd use that information in your discussion.
And I would try to hold off on having this discussion until delivery is actually being planned and you're talking with someone more enabled than Mike/Alane. For now hold off the cold feet anxiety until you have that conversation.